Harry Shuster wonders why men are never depressed

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:   Men Are Just Happier People — What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack… You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.   One mood all the  time.   Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own  jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.   Your underwear is  $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.  You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.   You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.   ___________________________________ Men Are Just Happier People   NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY            A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.             A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS            A woman has the last word in any argument.             Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE             A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.             A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. MARRIAGE             A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.             A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.             A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL         Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.             Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING  Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes.  There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing! SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ….  and to the men who will enjoy reading it

Bio6

harryshuster

 

Stuff you didn’t know you didn’t know! —-   Men can read smaller  print than women can; women can hear better.  ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   Coca-Cola was originally green.   ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   It is impossible to lick  your elbow.  ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   The State with the  highest percentage of people who walk to work:   Alaska   ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   The percentage of  Africa that is wilderness: 28%  (now get this…)   ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   The percentage of  North America that is wilderness: 38%  ————  ——— — —— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——  The cost of raising  a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:  $ 16,400 ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——   The average number  of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:   61,000   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——   Intelligent people  have more zinc and copper…

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Harry Shuster asks why……

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:   Men Are Just Happier People — What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack… You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.   One mood all the  time.   Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own  jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.   Your underwear is  $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.  You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.   You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.   ___________________________________ Men Are Just Happier People   NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY            A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.             A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS            A woman has the last word in any argument.             Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE             A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.             A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. MARRIAGE             A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.             A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.             A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL         Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.             Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING  Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes.  There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing! SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ….  and to the men who will enjoy reading it

HARRY SHUSTER …asks about stuff you didn’t know

 

Stuff you didn’t know you didn’t know! —-   Men can read smaller  print than women can; women can hear better.  ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   Coca-Cola was originally green.   ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   It is impossible to lick  your elbow.  ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   The State with the  highest percentage of people who walk to work:   Alaska   ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   The percentage of  Africa that is wilderness: 28%  (now get this…)   ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   The percentage of  North America that is wilderness: 38%  ————  ——— — —— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——  The cost of raising  a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:  $ 16,400 ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——   The average number  of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:   61,000   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——   Intelligent people  have more zinc and copper in their hair..   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——  The first novel ever  written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.   ————  — ———— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——— –  The San Francisco  Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  —— Each king in a deck  of playing cards represents a great king from history:  Spades – King David  Hearts – Charlemagne  Clubs -Alexander, the Great  Diamonds – Julius Caesar   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——  111,111,111 x  111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——   If a statue in the park of a person on a horse  has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.  If the horse has one front leg in the air,  the person died because of wounds received in battle.  If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes  ————  —— — ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——  Only two people  signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.  ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——   Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?   A. Their birthplace  ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——   Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?  A.  Obsession   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——   Q.. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter ‘A’?  A. One thousand   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——   Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?  A. All were invented  by women.   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——  Q. What is the only  food that doesn’t spoil?  A. Honey   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——   Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?   A. Father’s Day   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  —   In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.  When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened,  making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the  phrase…’Goodnight , sleep tight’  ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——  It was the accepted  practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.  ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   In English pubs, ale  is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old England , when  customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them ‘Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.’ . . . It’s where we get  the phrase ‘mind your P’s and Q’s’   ————  ——— ——— ——— —-   Many years ago in  England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill , they used the whistle to get some service. ‘Wet your whistle’ is the phrase inspired by this practice.  ————  ——— ——— —— — ——— ——— ———  ——  At least 75% of  people who read this will try to lick their elbow!   ————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  ——  YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN  2012 when…  1. You accidentally  enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven’t  played solitaire with real cards in years.   3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.   4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.   5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they  don’t have e-mail addresses.  6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries…   7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bot tom of the screen  8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it   10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee   11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )  12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.   13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.   14. You are too busy  to notice there was no #9 on this list.  15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list  . ~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~   NOW you’re LAUGHING at yourself! Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused!” (Unknown Author)

Harry Shuster ….asks why……

 

Harry Shuster …..asks why…….

We convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married, have a baby, then another.

Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older.

Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.

We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire.

The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.

If not now, then when?

Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

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